Arrest of Francis 'Two Gun' Crowley

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Monday, June 16, 2014

Your guess is as good as ours



A conversation that most likely took place 84-years ago today.

CHICAGO POLICE DEPART - DAY

Officer O’Malley: Hey, chief, remember when we found RedMcLaughlin in that drainage canal a few weeks back and you told us we should drag the rest of the canal in case any other gangsters got dumped in it?
Chief Flanagan: Sure, sure I remember what of it?
Officer O’Malley: We found another guy. Looks like he’s been there maybe six months.              
Chief Flanagan: Might be hard to get prints. Do your best.
Officer O’Malley: Uh, can’t he’s got no hands.
Chief Flanagan: Cut off his hands did they? Try to identify him through his dental work.
Officer O’Malley: Can’t. He’s got no head either.
Chief Flanagan: No head either? Gangsters are getting crafty. Well it’s a long shot but a lot of these hoodlums wear monogrammed socks. Makes ‘em feel like big shots. Try that.
Officer O’Malley: No can do. He’s got no feet either.
Chief Flanagan: Jesus, Mary and Joseph they took his feet too!!! Why would they take a man’s feet?
Officer O’Malley: Cuz they got no soles? 

CUE: Corny music

3 comments:

John DuMond said...

Did anyone check his pockets for an organ donor card?

Pat Downey said...

I don't think gangsters were allowed to donate their organs. Most were perforated to some extent.

realtorleona said...

"Cuz they got no soles?" No head, no hands, and no feet sounds like a one way ticket to soil for his sole. More corny music.