Bean farmer Louis Cornell of Elmhurst, Illinois was enjoying a quiet evening at home eighty-four years ago this evening when the solitude that only a bean farm can offer was shattered by gunfire. Louis got on the horn and called the police who came out and, after a search of the area, reported that nothing was amiss. Satisfied that he did his civic duty, Louis settled down for a summer slumber.
The following morning Louis went about his bean farm chores when he came across another Louis. In this case it was Louis Falduto, we don't really know what he looked like because in addition to being shot his features had been turned to mush with a hatchet, or possibly a big knife.
Louis, the live one, called the police again. This time they not only found the dead guy but were also able to determine that he had jumped from a moving a car ( when he was still alive of course), Louis, the dead one, had apparently realized he was going for a one way ride and made a dash for it. The car pulled over and a number of men went after him on foot. Louis, the live one, heard the conclusion of the chase last night before calling the cops.
Although Louis Falduto, the dead Louis, had no rap sheet, police said that he was an alky cooker who ran into trouble with gangsters.