Arrest of Francis 'Two Gun' Crowley

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Thursday, April 28, 2016

And the winner is...neither

Was on this date in 1927, it was, when Timothy Looman (a citizen of no-goodness) was walking on the lower West side. Approaching from the opposite direction was Thomas O’Brien, (another citizen of non-upwardness). When the two men were about thirty feet away from each other, each pulled out a roscoe and started blasting away at each other in true old west fashion.

Witness’s said up to thirty shots were fired, (but who can trust them, really?) and then Looman collapsed on the corner (not unlike Rocky Raccoon who collapsed "in" the corner) but before dropping dead he managed to hit O'Brien. Severely wounded, O’Brien tried to run away but only got as far as the St. Bernard’s Roman Catholic Church, before crumpling to the sidewalk in true Hollywood fashion. A Monsignor and a priest (who bore striking resemblances to Pat O'Brien and Bing Crosby were the first ones to reach O’Brien and after viewing his wounds, administered the last rights, which was good cause he died the following day.

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